Last year my wife and I were exploring new neighborhoods to move to.
We always dreamed about escaping the suburbs of Omaha and moving our family downtown. But for years we put it off — even though we hated everything about our neighborhood.
We told ourselves that people with kids were “supposed” to live in the ‘burbs; that there wouldn’t be enough space downtown for all of us to live comfortably; that the school district wouldn’t be as good…
And you know what? There was some truth to those stories.
But the reality was: We were prolonging our misery by making moving more difficult than it needed to be.
Eventually, the pain of waking up in a situation we hated — every single day — outweighed the pain of taking action. And we finally decided to get the hell out of it.
Within 60 days we were living in an awesome new house in the beautiful downtown area, loving life!
Turns out, there are plenty of kid-friendly neighborhoods downtown…if you’re willing to do a little digging.
But that wasn’t the real challenge.
The real challenge was overcoming the belief that good things need to be HARD.
I find this fascinating.
How many times has a belief like this held us back? It’s as if the more perfect something seems, the less likely we are to think we can get it.
It’s not that we think it’s too good to be true — it’s just too good…for US.
…that attractive girl (or guy) across the room — “She probably wouldn’t be interested in ME.”
…that job that sounds so cool it wouldn’t even feel like work — “I probably wouldn’t get it.”
…the person who gets to take a day (or a week) off whenever they want to — “Must be nice!”
…your friend who earns enough to never have to worry about money — “Maybe someday…”
What if thoughts like these are costing you more than you think?
Not at some far-off-in-the-future point, but TODAY. Right now.
What if great things aren’t as far out of your reach as you’ve been conditioned to believe?
You’re reading this blog because you want one or more of the following things for yourself:
- To earn the kind of money you know you deserve
- To be able to spend your days doing work you truly enjoy
- To have the freedom to fully control your own life and schedule
If you told this to a random friend, relative, or coworker, they might say something like, “That’s great…but what about a real job?” Or, more haunting, “You’re being unrealistic.”
It’s easy to dismiss dreams — even our own! (Think back to my moving downtown example.)
But for the next few days I want you to give yourself permission to have a dream and actually believe in it. You can do that on your own, today. Nothing is stopping you. But I know that sometimes having an extra push can help break through any resistance.
On Monday, I’ll have a special announcement that’s going to help you get closer to your goals.
There won’t be any catch, or strings attached — I just want you to succeed. I started Freelance To Win because I believe you have far more power than you think you do, and Monday, I’m going to prove it to you. Stay tuned.
Your turn
Tell me about one thing you’ve been wanting, but telling yourself was “unrealistic” or otherwise making it harder than it needs to be. What’s the story you’ve been telling yourself about it? Go ahead and comment below — I personally read every single one.
Publishing my books (a long series), buying a decent house for my family and one for myself, support my two younger siblings in whatever pursuit they want to follow, building my own lab.. anyway tons of things. I am greedy apparently, haha.
I have a lot of dreams but I’ll state two main ones
First, to earn a decent income from blogging ( I’m still struggling). The things I tell myself is that I need better skills. I need more time.
Second, to become a professional photographer. The lies I tell myself are that I’m too broke to start now. That I don’t have what it takes to achieve the dreams that I have.
My goal is for money to be no obstacle in my life very soon. I have a lady in-waiting over in Ukraine and I want to go there and plan to bring her back to the USA with me to a house, not apartment, that I will find to rent with the option to buy. I need a newer automobile and at age sixty-four need to maintain my current good health and have a smooth retirement by beginning my freelance businesses in that new :dream” house. I am weary of going to someone else’s office daily to help their goals.… Read more »
Hey.
… Put on some weight and build muscle, but I kept telling myself things like, “I’m too short to really build anything”, or “I don’t have the right genetics”. So, I finally started doing some research, found a program, and bought some equipment. That was a year ago. Fast forward today, and my body is starting to build up (honestly, THIS puny frame of mine!?) The number of daily calories to consume is ridiculous. My body is stubborn. (:
– C. out.
I think I’ve been telling myself all of the ones you mentioned.
The story about moving downtown really resonates with me. I, too, live in a housing situation that I really don’t enjoy, but fear of change is holding me back. Staying where I’m at is the “safe” choice, despite being a miserable one, and moving downtown is “the big Unknown”.
For years I have been going to a job which, though not horrible, still interfered with things I wanted to do and the way I wanted to live. I have told myself I needed to bring in a “regular paycheck”, have “regular benefits (paid vacay, insurance…}” and “security”. It has become more and more difficult to do this. Any pleasure and satisfaction of a job well done has diminished with changing goals of my employers and I have told myself to hang in there – retirement is coming. It didn’t come fast enough! I have finally planned an escape! I… Read more »
I guess, one the reason i want to freelance is because a part of me wanted …. God this is going to sound ridiculous…. A girlfriend. There’s this girl, a junior (i’m a sophomore). I keep telling myself unless i can have a steady income i won’t get myself a girlfriend, but being in college, money keeps draining from me. I won’t ask more from my parents but part of me don’t want to wait until i get my bachelor’s degree, get myself a masters degree and, land myself a steady comfy job (which would take years). Not only would… Read more »
Hi Nate! I just wanted to say that I don’t think your reasoning is ridiculous at all. In fact, I think that wanting to be financially stable before you invite a new person into your life makes all the sense in the world. It’s also admirable that you want to do it on your own without going to your parents.
Wishing you the best,
Starr
Hey Nate, I think it’s great that you want to be financially secure before pursuing a girlfriend. However, as a woman, I can tell you that a good woman will also look at how you’re living your life and how responsible you are, even if you don’t have tons of money yet. Many people with money waste it irresponsibly, so it’s not about how much you have; it’s about what you do with it. So you can still romance a woman on a modest budget as long as you do the best you can and show her that you sincerely… Read more »
wow I’m actually practicing these things each day…
Just an update Danny… I’ve found 2 long-term clients and they are sending me enough… making almost 1K a month.
Not bad for an ex-banker, non-native copywriter! And that’s apart from a site I own… your course and such emails have opened up a great window for me… yeah… all good things are easy to come… far too easy than we think.
Hi Danny, I also found your email this morning to be rather inspiring. For me, I had this personal goal that I spent years thinking about, but could never get started. I’m a software engineer and due to the nature of my work I sit a lot, and found myself in very bad physical shape. For years I made plans to go back to the gym and start improving my nutrition, etc. For some strange reason I was unable to get started. Much like your experience I had some negative thoughts banging around inside my head. One morning I awoke… Read more »
Hello Danny, I believe the same, that we create a bigger problem inside our heads than what truly is. In April, this year I decided to take on an Adventure, I met a guy who traveled by hitchhiking and with no money for 3 months in Europe, Listening to his experience made my heart beat faster, so I decided to do the same, the next day I left with my best friend. My family thought that I was crazy and that it is impossible to go on a trip with no money, but their idea of the trip wasn’t my… Read more »
2 dreams that I have. First, to earn a decent online income (even after purchasing your course, I’m still struggling). The stories I tell myself are that I need more information. I need better skills. I need more time. I need to buy another course. These concepts won’t work for me. This doesn’t happen in India. This whole online thing is just about luck. Second, to become a semi-professional musician. The stories I tell myself are that I’m too old to start now. That I don’t have enough skills. That I don’t have the networks. That no one will want… Read more »
I’d like to be able to spend a lot more time with my niece and nephews in Canada. They’re growing up without us knowing each other. It’s sad.
I actually had the opposite problem – I used to be too optimistic. Experiences throughout the years have certainly tempered my optimism, like the time I thought I could get a particular project done in two weeks – three at most – yet it ended up taking me two *YEARS* and a tonne of headaches along the way. It may sound like I’m disagreeing with Danny’s post, but actually quite the contrary – I’m agreeing with it in a weird way. You see, despite taking some knocks to my optimistic outlook, I’ve also seen the opposite. Many people I know… Read more »
Danny, big congrats on the move – hope you have a blast at your new place and the whole family enjoys this new chapter in your life! I really love all the wisdom and the insights you constantly share with us. And this is just another great example. Funny enough, the one thing I kept telling myself I shouldn’t really bother because I wouldn’t be good enough is drawing and painting. Even when I was studying graphic design, I could feel how off everything I did was. Mostly because I was thinking in words, rather than in form and value.… Read more »
Great article Danny.
One thing that I’ve always wanted to do is start my own business. But one where it runs itself after I’ve done all the work upfront.
Thanks for this article.
Congratulations on the new home! There’s a quote from the documentary Man On Wire that I carry for inspiration. In the movie, tightrope walker Philippe Petit plans to secretly string a cable between New York’s Twin Towers shortly after they were completed so he can walk across the expanse. He shares this vision with his friends, who give their honest assessments about the sanity of the venture. His response: “Ok, it’s impossible. So let’s get started.” The rest is history. We become mighty when we expand our definitions of what is possible to include ourselves. What I want is simple:… Read more »
Hi Danny, Loved this latest article – all rings true – reminds me of that cartoon mentioned in Poor Dad Rich Dad with the message “we have met the enemy and it is us”. One thing I’ve been wanting is to exercise regularly to simply feel better but I’ve been telling myself that I need to go to the gym at least 2 time a week for that and it’s just not realistic with all my work and family commitments. Well, the reality is that I can feel noticeably better just by doing some simple exercises at home when kids… Read more »
Hi Danny, reading ur post and attending ur seminars has helped me in more ways than I can tell and Im really glad I ‘met’ u. I really want to move to Canada with my family and I need to get a valid job offer or at least look attractive enough to be nominated, when i mention it to anyone, they go ‘its not possible’ ‘u don’t even have a regular job’ ‘freelancing’ isn’t a desirable profession…..n it goes on, I don’t believe in impossibilitites, i put my eggs in one basket and put my whole weight behind it….i have… Read more »
At the end of the day, how will you know what the Canadian government considers a “valid” job unless you apply? Freelancing is is very much considered a legitimate job here in the UK (although we tend to call it “contracting”), and in fact is a pretty significant industry. Canada is part of the Commonwealth, so I’d be surprised if they didn’t consider it legitimate and valuable like we do. That’s not to say it won’t be without some hurdles. For example they may ask to see 3 years of bank statements so they can see you’re making good money… Read more »
Thanks a lot your response Andrew! Actually, I have applied and my profile, earning records are good (from my point of view), it’s been some months now, I’m very hopeful, but sometimes, I’m not sure i look ‘attractive’ enough for consideration and wonder if I’m just dreaming too big. I mean when i look around at the other people I know doing the same, they’ve got 2 or 3 PhD, years of experience in top professions, not met a freelancer who’s applying or has applied and all. I’m not giving up though, impossible is nothing, just sharing my secret doubts,… Read more »
You’re right. It’s been like this for me, before I moved out of my parents’ house and got my own apartment (I’m not ready to go live on my own and I won’t live comfortably paying for bills etc.), then before I chose to leave my job (I’ve worked here for the past 10 years, this is too big of a change…). Now it’s like this for my future as a freelance copywriter. But I’m pretty much going with the mindset of “get it or die trying” lol
Hi Danny, thank you very much for creating this wonderful blog. You have really been an inspiration and I cannot thank you enough.I always tell myself it’s not realistic for me to earn anything above $10 per hour on upwork considering I’m from Africa and specifically Kenya.I have been working on upwork since 2010 and it has been tough getting clients who are willing to pay well.
I’ve toyed with the idea of quitting my job to move back home to take care of my aging parents. If I could find a way to have a flexible schedule and work from home, I could help them run errands, take them to medical appointments… there are PLENTY. The thought terrifies me; give up my well paying job at an established company with full benefits? Risk my future and my retirement? Would I be able to buy a house and support myself? I’d really like to make it happen but just not sure.
I found your today’s email very inspiring, all the wishing thoughts you wrote I have thought them and precisely today I needed a little inspiration to keep pushing, thanks! This week I got my very first Upwork job and my customer was satisfied with my job so he gave me an hourly contract! Last night I was re-reading your hacks and I’m going to polish my Upwork profile again. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and your inspiring words today. Regards, Adolfo.
My dream is to learn photography and become a travel photographer.
Hi Danny,
Thanks for reminding me of these truths. It’s so important to keep relating my dreams like they are possible. And, it’s also very easy to slip into cynicism and let “that’ll never be me” take over my thinking. So…since you asked. My dream is to invest in real estate, starting by purchasing a 3-flat in my current neighborhood in Chicago, so I could live in the owner unit, rent out the other two units, and make a profit.
I look forward to hearing your suggestions on Monday!
Thanks,
Erin
That’s a wonderful idea, Erin!
Mine is similar, I’d like to buy small houses in my city, polish them up a bit and then rent them out.
But (why is there always a but?) I’m broke and my credit is terrible.
It’s my “one day…” thought that gets me through each day. I need to find a way to make it happen.
Hey Danny,
Wonderful site!
I’ve been studying Copywriting for a few years now and just took a Lurn certified course. Even though online marketing is interesting, my real passion is fictional writing and metaphysical studies. I’m currently writing a novel that I hope to publish one day.
I currently believe that a lot of things are “unrealistic” such as getting published one day or even succeeding as a freelance copywriter but I know subconsciously that there is a possibility. I just need to keep at it and not give up.
Thank you for your insights and inspiration!
Tim
We – my fiancé and I – would love to have a Chambre/Table d’hôtes in France, and do some freelancing on the side to top up our income.
I just wanted to say: THANK YOU email/blog post today. I don’t know about you, but this week with all the world’s events have hit me hard. So reading this about just taking a beat, catching my breath and remembering what dream, whether professionally or personally, that I want to accomplish is really, really helpful and allowed me to feel less knocked down.